This isn't the first time I've written this, and something tells me it won't be the last: emotions shouldn't be ignored. They are there to show us something about ourselves. They are meant to flow.
Fear, anger, sadness… these are all emotions that reveal something about our external and internal world. Why not listen to what they have to say?
By this I don't mean getting stuck in these emotions. On the contrary, By identifying and recognizing that we feel what we feel, we will be freeing ourselves. Accepting all our emotions makes it easier for them to be fleeting and not take over us.
As the psychologist suggests Susan David:
Research on emotional suppression shows that when emotions are pushed aside or ignored, they become stronger. (…) Like a delicious chocolate cake in the refrigerator, the more you try to ignore it, the greater its power over you. You might think you're in control of unwanted emotions when you ignore them, but in fact, they control you. The inner pain always comes out. Always. And who pays the price? We. Our children, our colleagues, our communities.
Susan David suggests that simply labeling something as complex as emotions as "positive" or "negative" leads us to emotional rigidity. In other words, to suppress emotions considered as negative and, therefore, only recognize the positive ones… even if that means living in a false optimism.
In his words:
When we push aside normal emotions to embrace false positivity, we lose our ability to develop skills to deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be.
The counterpart of emotional rigidity is emotional agility. David suggests that this agility means to be able to navigate through all our emotions. Recognizing and accepting ourselves as beings who will inevitably face battles. And who will be honest about what we're feeling. Precisely so we can take control of our emotional situation.
Understanding emotional agility:
I highly recommend you the TED Talk by Susan David, which in a very enjoyable way tells part of her personal story, while also delving into the concept of emotional agility. Remember that you can activate the Spanish subtitles.
On the other hand, I would also like to recommend leave false positivism behind. This is very important to be able to navigate our emotions.
Surely, sooner or later, you will hear advice like this: “don't feel that way” either “If you truly want X, the universe will put it in your path, go for it.”. Well, although in principle these phrases are said with the best of intentions, there are days when we do feel "So" And the universe continues its course without seeming to pause to see what we want. And you know what? Nothing happens.
It's totally normal to have a bad day, or a bad streak. And no one should expect radiant happiness at all times under any circumstances. What does require professional help is when we find ourselves in a bad patch that we can't get out of no matter how hard we try.
Let's then strive to find balance. To be ourselves. And to be able to listen to the messages our emotions send us so we can take action on our physical and mental well-being.
