Last week I wrote about how to support a loved one with anxiety or depression. In my opinion, the most important step is being present through listeningHowever, there is much more to the topic.
Fortunately, there are more ways to support our loved ones. Here are a few:
1. Stay calm.
If one of your loved ones struggles with anxiety or depression, it's completely natural for it to stir up feelings in you. Knowing that someone you love is going through a tough time can be a source of fear, sadness, and sometimes even anger. Take a moment to reflect on this and try to stay calm. After all, You won't be able to help anyone if you're not calm enough., isn't it?
Take the time you need to understand what your friend or family member is going through. This way you will avoid trying to help from a place of incomprehension and impulsiveness.
Staying calm will help you approach any problematic situation from a different perspective.
2. Make plans.
Your loved one remains the same person regardless of depression or any other mental affliction. However, with these conditions, it's difficult to make plans because it requires time and effort, both physical and mental. That motivation that once seemed normal is suddenly no longer there. That's where you can intervene. Make plans with your loved one as you normally would. Invite them out for a walk, a coffee, a movie—something you know they enjoy.
Encourage that person to keep doing things. Even if, for obvious reasons, they don't enjoy them very much, at least they won't be isolated and will have a good distraction. Oh, and please, Remember that you can talk and interact with that person normally. No condescension or Disney character voice!
3. Assume that you are not responsible for anyone's mental state.
Approach that person with love and a supportive attitude. But at the same time, do yourself a favor and let go of the guilt. You are not responsible for anyone's mental or emotional state.
As my colleague writes Mila Petkova:
Don't aspire to become a savior. What you can do is become a person of trust and offer your support to anyone who is ready to seek your help—in fact, that's already quite enough.
A great way to support someone with anxiety or depression is to recognize our own limits. You are not their doctor, their therapist, or the person responsible for their condition. Once you recognize this, the approach will be easier. Your interest and presence are already a form of support in themselves.
