Expressing our emotions, including negative ones, is essential for our well-being.
When we try to ignore negative emotions like sadness or anger, we self-censor our complaints and change them for a "yes we can", we risk falling into the trap of positive thinking.
Writer Barbara Ehrenreich tells us about this trap in her book “Smile or die”Ehrenreich wrote this great book as a response to the pastel pink world she encountered after being diagnosed with breast cancer.
Naturally, she was feeling ill. Uncertainty gripped her, and when she sought out communities to talk about what she was feeling, she found herself in a pastel pink world where she was told her illness was a gift. But, Why should we take such a serious illness lightly?
Positive attitude… in balance.
Taking things calmly has many benefits, that's undeniable. The attitude and fortitude with which we face difficult situations has a lot to do with how we manage to get out of them. But, like everything in life, Our optimism also has to be balanced with action, since not everything depends on our attitude.
That's life: There are hard-working people who suddenly find themselves unemployed. Some lead healthy lifestyles and then fall ill. There are people who are deeply in love and their love is not reciprocated. There are also people who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. And as Ehrenreichen mentions in his book, It borders on cruel to tell people who have to endure great difficulties that it is all in their heads. And what about it? only that have to do to get out of the hole, is to have a positive attitude.
The psychologist Nacho Coller He also has something to add regarding the “I’m going to get it” philosophy:
Look, we're not perfect, we're not supermen, there's no such thing as complete happiness, and we don't have superhuman powers. And yes, just because you feel bad or are going through a bad time or a rough patch doesn't mean you're stupid.
Let's avoid falling into the trap.
I don't want to repeat what others have already said so eloquently. But I would add that feeling sad, angry, frustrated, or emotional (sometimes all of the above...at the same time) is human. These are emotions that, although not as popular as happiness, are still valid. And even more so, necessary.
There are many situations in which it's appropriate to feel bad. So let's not force ourselves to always be happy or optimistic. There's no need or reason to always be perfect.
Clear, This does not mean that we should rejoice in sadness. Rather, let's do our best to avoid the trap of obligatory optimism and give ourselves permission to experience our emotions. Because the alternative is far less healthy: keeping our own uncomfortable feelings to ourselves. Which can result in emotional blocks, guilt and resentment.
Just as Barbara Ehrenreich fought her illness and overcame it without wearing a mask of false optimism, Let us continue to face the challenges that life presents to us without hiding.
Emotions are meant to be felt.
Here you can see Smile or Die, an animated video in which Barbara Ehrenreich explores the dark side of positive thinking (subtitled in English).
