We all know that nobody is perfect, don't we?
However, Being a perfectionist is often considered a virtue. A quality that reflects discipline, effort, and even sacrifice in the work of those who consider themselves perfectionists.
This does not come without effort. Perfectionism is a character trait that involves setting unusually high standards for performance. When these standards (initially unattainable) are not met, the person harshly criticizes himself, belittles himself, and often does not even dare to show his work, project, idea, or whatever is in question.
Furthermore, perfectionists also tend to be overly demanding of others. They expect their partner, family, or coworkers to do things the way they would have done them themselves.
Naturally, the result is different. Each person has a different rhythm and way of doing certain things. Good or bad, I don't know... but different, definitely. So, the perfectionist suffers. He suffers from the difficulty he has in doing things and from the difficulty he has in seeing others do them differently.
If only I had time to do everything…
This thought so frequently expressed by perfectionists has a second part, which many of them may not know: If I had time to do everything, I wouldn't finish it anyway. We know the reason from the beginning – nothing and no one is perfect. And their own demand to do things impeccably would prevent them from completing what they had set out to do.
So, should we fight against perfectionism?
If you consider yourself a perfectionist and enjoy what you do, keep it up. It may be another trait of your personality that you know how to take advantage of.
If, on the other hand, it causes you anguish, stress and obsessive thoughtsIt's time you started seeing perfectionism differently. It's not a virtue to aspire to. It's a way of trying to organize your internal world from the outside. And this can be emotionally exhausting.
Deep down, perfectionists unconsciously believe that their ability to be loved or appreciated, even by themselves, depends on things being perfect. But trying to make everything perfect only puts them at risk of entering a downward spiral from which it will be increasingly difficult to move forward.
In the words of the writer Brené Brown:
Understanding the difference between healthy effort and perfectionism is critical to setting up the shield and taking back your life. Research shows that perfectionism hinders success. In fact, it's often the path to success. depression, anxiety, addiction and paralysis of life.
Machines are already in place to manufacture and package things accurately. Imperfection is a trace of the human. Of the only thing. What's more, We succeed more when we are imperfect since we are freed from the great pressure to excel.
Let's not expect ourselves or others to be perfect. We need to let go of that illusion of control and let things flow in a certain balance.
Trying to do things right is already quite honorable. There's no need to do things perfectly. Just do things the best you can and learn from life's lessons.
Doing things imperfectly but well enough in exchange for peace of mind is a worthy and rewarding goal.
