We all face those dark thoughts in life…
They slip stealthily into our minds, accompanied by their friends: insecurity, anxiety, and doubt. But beware! There's one trap we must avoid at all costs: the relentless self-criticism that these negative thoughts can trigger. This cycle can leave us completely exhausted, thus blocking our personal growth.
I present to you a scenario that probably sounds familiar to you:
Suppose you have an important appointment or interview. As the date approaches, you begin to feel anxious. This anxiety makes you feel restless and nervous, which in turn increases your anxiety. You worry that your anxiety will be obvious to others, and that makes you feel even more anxious. In this situation, the initial anxiety reinforces itself, creating a cycle of worry.
As you can see, sometimes we feel anxious about being anxious, or afraid of being afraid.
It may seem like you're stuck in a cycle that makes you feel tired and helpless. However, there is a way to free yourself, a path that begins with one simple step: stop beating yourself up by having negative thoughts and feelings. This first step of acceptance can be transformative. Self-acceptance is the foundation upon which you can build a more realistic and healthy relationship with yourself and life's circumstances.
Permanent Positivity: A Trap for Happiness?
We live in a world constantly bombarded with positive messages. We're led to believe that success and happiness should be our constant companions. But is this realistic? What happens when we confront negativity? This relentless pursuit of positivity can create such high expectations that, when we are confronted with negativity, it leads to disappointment and frustration. It's time to question this notion and realize that negativity is a natural part of life's journey.
Instead of rejecting these negative thoughts, let's try to accept them as part of our humanity. We have thousands of thoughts every day, and most of them aren't even that important. So why not acknowledge those negative thoughts with a kind gesture and move on?
Consider failure, for example. In our culture, we often view it as a heavy word associated with disappointment and not being good enough. But the reality is that failure is an extraordinary teacher. Through our failures, we learn, adapt, and ultimately succeed. Instead of beating ourselves up when we fail, let's recognize the valuable lessons it offers us.
The philosopher Alain De Botton reminds us that a excessive optimism can blind us to the frequency of life's challenges and challenges. It makes us believe that common setbacks, like losing a job, are rarities. This leads us to feel unlucky or not good enough when we face obstacles. But, in reality, setbacks are part of life and do not determine our worth or our luck. A touch of pessimism can help us appreciate the normality of adversity.
Accepting Without Judging: Embracing Human Complexity
On the other hand, It is important to remember that you are under no obligation to look for lessons or positive aspects in every painful or negative situation you encounter in life.Sometimes, simply facing and overcoming those difficulties, showing your resilience, is enough—and that's an achievement in itself! Life has its ups and downs, and recognizing the complexity of human emotions and allowing yourself to feel and heal is an act of self-love as valuable as finding the silver lining in every situation.
The art of accepting negativity as a natural part of life is essential to our personal growth and emotional well-being. Instead of resisting or judging ourselves for having negative thoughts, let's embrace them with understanding and empathy. Let's remember that we all face challenges and difficult moments on our journey. As a final invitation, I encourage you to reflect on how you can apply this new perspective to your own life. The next time you find yourself stuck in a loop of negative thoughts, remember that they are part of your shared human experience and an opportunity to learn and grow.
If you want to work on this in a confidential and personalized way, come in. I will accompany you through the psychotherapy.
